Man aims for success in New Year’s Resolutions

Published 8:50 am Friday, January 4, 2019

By Greg Miller © 2018
Zach, whose friends called him Mr. Z., was determined to be successful in his New Year’s Resolutions in 2019.
Mr. Z. didn’t have a very good track record when it came to success in his resolutions. “I only have about a 10 percent success rate in finishing my resolutions,” he complained to his physician, Dr. Zella, whose friends called her Dr. Z.
Both Mr. Z. and Dr. Z. were devout Christians, so Dr. Z. asked her friend and patient, “Have you prayed and asked the Lord to help you list the resolutions He wants you to achieve?”
“Of course, my friend, of course,” Mr. Z. replied. “I pray before I start making my list about a week before the new year begins. I also pray every morning before I begin my day and ask God to help me with my list.”
Mr. Z. assured Dr. Z. that he was also eating a balanced diet and getting plenty of exercise. “You do appear to be healthy,” the doctor assured him.
Mr. Z. also affirmed that he was holding no grudges or had ill feelings against anyone. Dr. Z. said, “Indeed, you do seem to have healthy relationships with your friends and relatives.”
The only aspect of Mr. Z.’s life about which the physician was concerned was his sleeping habits. “I probably only get about three hours of sleep each night,” he candidly admitted. “I spend hours thinking about things I could have handled differently before I’m finally tired enough to drift off to sleep.”
Mr. Z. told Dr. Z. he had tried various methods to aid him in going to sleep. “I’ve even counted sheep,” he said.
“How did that work?” asked Dr. Z.
“Not very well,” Mr. Z. confessed. “By the time I reach 30 or 40, I usually forget how many I’ve counted, and I have to start all over again.”
“I’d like to make a recommendation,” said Dr. Z.
“What’s your suggestion?” asked Mr. Z.
“I’d like for you to add a new resolution for the coming year.”
“A new resolution?”
“Yes. I think you should plan to get six to eight hours of sleep each evening. I think that will change all areas of your life for the better.”
“I think you’re right, Dr. Z.,” said Mr. Z. “And I’ll be able to serve the Sovereign Lord much better. I think I’ll be better off spiritually and physically.”
“I would like to caution you about one thing, though,” said Dr. Z.
“What’s that?”
“Just be careful not to sleep too much, because getting too many Z’s is as bad as not getting enough!”
To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements (in the U.S.), including Christian Comedy Fundraising Outreaches, Christian Creativity Seminars and/or puppet ministry, please email, or, with “Rays of Son” or “Request Speaking Engagement” in the subject line.

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