Bride chooses not to walk down the aisle with her dad

Published 2:04 pm Saturday, May 2, 2020

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DEAR ABBY: For some reason, my father hates my fiancé to the point where, when I stayed with my fiancé for one day, Dad wouldn’t allow me to come home. Dad said many nasty things after eventually letting me back home, but among the more hurtful ones were that he hoped my fiancé would abuse me, and that I shouldn’t be allowed to get married. He doesn’t remember saying them, but I remember them well.
Only my immediate family and my fiancé’s family know the specifics, and whenever I say I would rather have my brother walk me down the aisle, my relatives are all in disbelief. Dad has come to terms with my engagement to my fiancé, but he treats him differently compared to my older sister’s boyfriend. Am I really in the wrong for not wanting him to escort me? — MISUNDERSTOOD BRIDE-TO-BE
DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: Does your father have a substance abuse problem? An anger management problem? Under the circumstances, it is understandable that you would prefer someone else walk you down the aisle.
Your fiancé must be a saint to want to enter a marriage with a built-in in-law problem like your dad. My advice is to do what is best for the two of you, including considering an elopement.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a girl in my teens. My best friend moved away, and I miss her so much. It feels like the world has turned against me, and I am depressed.
I don’t like to text her, and I don’t think she would let me call her every single day, although I haven’t asked. I’m afraid we’re not going to be friends anymore, and I feel so distant from my other friends. I made a new friend this year, but it isn’t the same.
What should I do, Abby? Do I talk to her about it? Or should I stop being her friend? — MISSING MY BEST FRIEND
DEAR MISSING: It is painful when life separates people. As you pointed out, friendships, unlike Lego blocks, are not interchangeable. Do not suddenly stop communicating with your friend. You should absolutely talk to her and tell her how you are feeling because she may be feeling the same way.
With more time, you will get past this. You will meet more people and establish new relationships. But in the meantime, try to stay busy, which will help you feel less isolated.
DEAR ABBY: I am an 84-year-old divorced alum from a local college, who has developed feelings for a 59-year-old widowed alum from a local university. She works at my former college and visited me a month ago asking for a donation to the college. Since then, she has shown extreme appreciation of my gift, via letter, emails and phone calls.
I’m curious as to how much her feelings of appreciation are for her success as a fundraiser, or if the attraction could be mutual. Do you think the age difference is too much for me to pursue a meaningful relationship with her? I would appreciate your opinion. Thank you. — UNKNOWN FEELINGS IN VIRGINIA
DEAR UNKNOWN FEELINGS: Depending upon the condition you are in physically and financially, the age difference may not be an insurmountable problem. At 59, she is old enough to decide whether it’s a deal-breaker. Invite her out. See if she accepts. If she hits you up for another donation, you will know where you stand.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.comor P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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