Best friend feels uneasy as wedding bells approach
Published 8:49 am Tuesday, February 22, 2022
DEAR ABBY: My best friend, “Sophie,” just became engaged to her longtime boyfriend, “Brian.” I want to be happy for her, but he doesn’t deserve her. She knows it, but she won’t leave.
My problem is, I may very well be asked to be maid of honor at her wedding, and I dread the idea of having to write a speech about their relationship. How do I write a speech when I have nothing good to say about it?
I know Sophie will expect something heartfelt since she’s my close friend. I get anxious just thinking about it. Please give me some advice. — RELUCTANT FRIEND IN INDIANA
DEAR RELUCTANT FRIEND: When you write your speech, start by saying how long you and Sophie have been friends and how close the two of you are. Share a couple of anecdotes about what a caring, loyal, fun friend Sophie is, and state how lucky “Brian” is to be marrying her. Then toast the happy couple, wish them a lifetime of happiness together (even if you feel it won’t turn out that way) and “drop the mic.” You do not have to sing Brian’s praises if you feel he doesn’t deserve it. That privilege should belong to the best man.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have friends — a married couple — we socialize with every few weeks. “Charles” is kind-hearted, pleasant and enjoyable, always with a good balance between speaking and listening during conversations. His wife, “Claire,” on the other hand, isn’t interested in hearing about our lives.
When we try to initiate a conversation, Claire cuts us off and switches the subject to a nonrelated, self-centered topic. She also interrupts Charles while he’s talking. She goes on and on describing at length the minutiae of her activities and, worse, the lives of her friends (who we don’t know or have any interest in). We no longer enjoy her company, but we hate to lose the connection with Charles. Any suggestions? — BORED IN MISSOURI
DEAR BORED: It may be time for you and Charles to see each other without wives in tow — for lunch or a sporting event. That way you will be off the hook having to tolerate Claire, and your wife won’t have to put up with her because she can socialize with friends whose company she enjoys. I don’t have a crystal ball, but I have a strong hunch you and your wife won’t be the first to do this.
DEAR ABBY: I met a very nice guy while I was at a bar. Because I was slightly drunk, he drove me home. We exchanged numbers and, since then, we have been out once. I’m pretty sure we will be going out again. The problem is I have no idea what his name is! We didn’t exchange social media contacts. I feel awkward asking his name now. Any suggestions? — UNKNOWN IN THE WEST
DEAR UNKNOWN: Yes. The next time he gets in touch, ask him for the correct SPELLING of his first and last names “to enter into your contact list.” It may manage to get you off the hook without embarrassing yourself, unless his name is John Smith.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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