Published 1:52 pm Wednesday, February 23, 2022
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A few funny things to ponder.
Did it ever creep anyone out that in the Operation game the guy was wide awake?
If you smile when no one else is around, do you really mean it? — Andy Rooney
If you wrote a book about failures and it didn’t sell would it be considered a success?
If you want to grow seedless watermelon what do you plant?
If all the sign makers go on strike what do they hold up?
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. — Woody Allen
I think I’ve discovered the secret of life — you just hang around until you get used to it. — Charles M. Schulz
The name “Patrick” is two names combined in one.
Lego people live in houses made out of their own flesh.
The word “Verb” is a noun.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Watermelons are melons full of water. Oranges are orange. So why don’t we call bananas “yellows”?
Today is yesterday’s tomorrow and tomorrow’s yesterday.
The age ratio between two people always gets smaller.
Cats are smarter than humans. They don’t need to be taught to use the bathroom.
Water is like a plant. If you water it, it grows.
Down for It and Up for It mean the same thing.
If you get a bigger bed than you have now you will have more bed room but less bedroom.
Mickey and Minnie are mice but they treat Pete the cat like a friend. Both Goofy and Pluto are dogs, so why isn’t Pluto like Goofy or Goofy like Pluto?
The world’s largest tire producer is LEGO. They produce about 306 million tires per year.
You will be the last person to die in your lifetime.
The nursery rhyme “Humpty Dumpty” never says Humpty is an egg.
There’s no “D” in refrigerator. Yet, there is one in “fridge.”
Snakes are literally just heads with tails.
Erasers sacrifice their lives to fix your mistake.
THE GENTLEMEN IN MY LIFE
Lorie Ann McReynolds
The first man to capture my heart was my daddy. You could say I was a daddy’s girl. Whenever he had places to go on Saturdays, I would always tag along. Just me and my daddy. I loved playing Checkers with him even though I seldom, if ever, won. Those were the best times. My big brother was the next guy that I loved. He is 10 years older than me. He was the best. I thought he was so cool driving his ’69 Chevy Camaro. He even took me cruisin’ one night along hamburger lane. (Now I am showing my age.)
I had several romances in my life. Some good, some not so good. But then I was blessed with a son, Dakota. That is when I knew what unconditional love was. I would have done anything for that little boy. I remember my mom saying, “Wait till you have kids and then you will understand.” Boy was she right. The worry and tears and joy and laughter — all of it was so worth it. I am very proud of him and the man he has become.
The next man in my life is truly a gentleman, my boyfriend, Tim. Again, I am blessed. He has captured my heart. As of this writing we have only been dating for four months but it seems like we have known each other for so much longer. He is so kind and patient. He reminds me a lot of my dad. He is a hard worker, honest and loves with all he has. He also has a son, Eli. I am enjoying getting to know him. He is very smart and makes me laugh. Tim is making sure Eli knows what a gentleman is supposed to be like.
I am fortunate to have been surrounded by such wonderful gentlemen. All of them have made such an impact on my life. I am grateful for the memories and excited to make new ones.