Husband pressures wife to dress more provocatively

Published 8:17 am Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

DEAR ABBY: My husband wants me to wear more revealing clothing. I’ve always enjoyed dressing attractively, and have never felt behind the times or like a frump, but I do have my opinion about what is appropriate. For example, if I’m wearing leggings, I wear a long top to cover my bum. My outfits are attractive and not ultra-conservative by any means, but I’m not a crop top, low-cut, skin-tight kind of gal. 

I want to be attractive to my husband, but I am growing really annoyed by his pestering me to wear things in public that make me feel like I’m oversharing. He says he’s a guy and he would know if it’s inappropriate. I conceded a few times, but it just felt showy and uncomfortable. Your thoughts? – STINGY WITH THE GOODS IN MAINE


DEAR STINGY: My thought is: Do nothing that makes you feel self-conscious. Your husband may be a “guy” and think he knows what is appropriate attire, but the “bottom” line is that YOU must be comfortable and not feel embarrassed by what you are showing when you are out in public. 


DEAR ABBY: My wife has immersed herself in politics to the extreme. She believes the other side is wrong no matter what. We are in the same political party, but I don’t paint as broad a brush as she does on various issues. I try to change the subject if politics arises. I try to keep an open mind until I get all the facts, whereas she listens to nothing that could be positive about the other side. You guessed it – our discussions always turn into fights and anger with each other. Any suggestions? – TIRED OF TALKING POLITICS


DEAR TIRED: In the interest of saving your marriage, because talking about politics causes fights and lingering anger, agree to defer listening to news broadcasts together and engaging in those conversations until after the next election. 


DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married. My wife is demanding that I tell her that my stepdaughter, “Gia” (my wife’s only daughter), must take part in the wedding. Gia, who is several years younger, is self-absorbed and has made no effort to be close to her older siblings. My wife has indulged and catered to Gia’s every whim since she was a little girl. 

My daughter wants a short ceremony, and she doesn’t want her stepsister to have a role. She has chosen her close friends since high school to be her bridesmaids. My wife thinks it’s my daughter’s “duty” to include Gia in her wedding. Is my wife right? – EXASPERATED HUSBAND 


DEAR HUSBAND: No rule of etiquette requires your current wife’s self-centered daughter to play a role in your daughter’s wedding. If you are arm-twisted into allowing your wife to insert Gia into the wedding as more than a guest, have her stand by the guest register to ensure everyone signs in. That way she’ll be away from the altar and out of the picture. 


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: “Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)