Senior boyfriend kept kids’ ages under wraps

Published 8:28 am Friday, May 31, 2024

Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my man for seven years. When we got serious, he told me he had kids. Because we are seniors, I assumed his kids were adults. I recently found out that the kids are teenagers! He is very involved in their lives. 

The problem is, their mother calls him constantly about bills for her house and what the kids need. He pays her phone bill, water bill, electric bill and sometimes the internet bill, as well as giving her money each month for the kids. He says he does it because he doesn’t pay child support, and he wants to take care of his kids. 

He says he’s not, under any circumstances, getting back together with the mom. He tells me he loves me, and he does show it. He says that when the kids graduate from high school in two years, he will have no reason to talk to their mom or to pay her bills. He wants his kids to leave and go to college. 

Subscribe to our free email newsletter

Get the latest news sent to your inbox

I’m very concerned about our relationship moving forward. He gives me a lot of information about what happens between the mom, the kids and him. The woman is dangerous and volatile. She has come at him with a knife twice. Should I hang in there for the next two years or move on? I love him very much. – SUSPENDED IN FLORIDA

DEAR SUSPENDED: Hang in there, but understand that the time has come for you to discuss ALL of this with your gentleman friend. Suggest he talk to a family law attorney now about his children’s higher education. In some states, laws or case law gives courts the authority to order a non-custodial parent to pay for some form of college expenses. 

As to his children’s unstable mother, you can bet that when he stops footing her bills, she’s going to be one angry woman. If she threatens his life again, he should immediately report her to the police and seek a restraining or no-contact order.


DEAR ABBY: My friend had back surgery that has left her walking with a walker or a cane. We go out to eat quite often. When the hostess takes us to our seats, they often take us to a table that is far from the door, bypassing many empty tables. Sometimes, we have even had to go up or down some steps. 

I know they have a system for seating in a restaurant, but it sure would be nice if they’d recognize her difficulty in maneuvering and seat us closer to the entrance or exit. I’m sure many people have this issue. I would say something, but my friend says it would embarrass her. How do others solve this problem? – BETTER ACCESS NEEDED IN IOWA

DEAR ACCESS: Others resolve the problem by informing the restaurant at the time the reservation is made that a member of the party has a disability and needs easy access not only to the entrance and exit, but also to the table. If you and this friend are walk-ins with no reservation, discreetly inform the host where you need to be seated. It would be to the restaurant’s advantage to avoid the potential liability of a trip and fall by not forcing this guest to maneuver through an obstacle course.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)