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To the Editor:
On Valentine’s Day people express their love. Jesus said, right before His return, “because evil shall abound the love of many shall wax cold.” New concepts and understanding of self-care and self-love are confusing to many.
Our evil culture has promoted and made self-love more acceptable. Wikipedia tells us self-love, “…has grown from selfishness, moral flaws, and narcissism to a more positive connotation through Pride Parades, the Self Respect Movements, and New Age feminist movements.” They say positive self-love is accepting anything you see yourself to be and learning to love that for yourself, while refusing to glorify and focus on Jesus since He is never considered.
In contrast, the Bible defines loving yourself as not self-seeking (1Corinthians 13:5), but instead, Jesus focused and glorifying (Luke 1, John 21, Romans 15 Psalms 34). Hollywood and our evil culture says, “Self-love means you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and well-being.”
Selfish love is now called self-love or self-care. As a result we have a record number of people with narcissism that are abusing others. Those with narcissism have a strong need for admiration and lack empathy for others and lie to and take advantage of others for their own selfish personal benefit. The Bible says in Philippians to do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more important than yourself! The Bible says love rejoices in truth. Disagreeing sometimes is the most loving thing we can do. Loving someone doesn’t mean agreeing with their behavior, ideas, and attitudes. You can love someone without believing or agreeing with the lies they believe.
Millions have showed no love for their unborn babies and aborted them. They also showed no love for the millions who wanted to adopt babies. The Bible says in 1 John those who don’t love don’t know God. 1 John 3 says, “We know we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren.” We are seeing more of the opposite of love which is selfishness and hate. Most people whose life isn’t centered on Jesus become too self-centered to love anyone. The Bible says in 2vTimothy 3 right before Jesus returns people will be lovers of their own selves. C.S. Lewis said, “Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay. But look for Jesus and you will find him, and with him everything thrown in!”
Christians have the best understanding of love. C.S. Lewis said, “Nearly all the greatest love poetry in the world has been produced by Christians.” Love is best seen in the self-sacrificing love of Jesus on the cross to pay our sin debt. The actions of Jesus became the greatest love story in history. In the Christian sense love is an action not a feeling. So Christians are required even if they don’t feel loving to act loving anyway. God says if you love me you will keep my commandments. The most important commandment is, “…thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy might. (Deut. 6:4,5) Jesus said this is the first and great commandment. (Matt. 22:37,38) In Hebrews the Bible commands Christians to attend church especially in the last days before the return of Jesus. Signs are everywhere that Jesus could return in the air to rapture Christians at any time. God demands love not because He needs it but because we need it. The more we love Jesus the more love flows through us to others. Love is more than talk. When you love someone you live it. Only by building your life and marriage on Jesus can you truly live happily ever after both now and forever! Studies show laughter helps couples have a better marriage. Studies show laughter helps us be healthier just as the Bible said it would in Proverbs. Studies show those couples who attend church together have the lowest divorce rate. To tell others about Jesus shows more love for them than any other thing you could do for them.
Feelings don’t drive our relationship with Jesus or our spouse; faith and commitment do. C.S. Lewis said, “do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor (or spouse) act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.” That is why some say they feel more love for their pet than their family because they act more loving to their pet. No boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, same-sex partner or pet can meet your deepest needs. Only Jesus can give you real security, peace, identity and purpose. Only Jesus can forgive your sin and make you a more giving, forgiving and loving person. The Bible says perfect love (Jesus) casts out fear! You’re loved not just a little, but a lot, not just today but always not just by anyone but by the One who created you and died for you — Jesus!

D.D. Nave
Elizabethton